Do you know how to love yourself yet?

Someone once proclaimed you are “not enough”
The scale has gone up
And you didn’t make the cut

You tried to be kind
But they thought it was attention seeking
You looked for connection
But rejection led to self suppression

Then giving was a one way street
So you can't help but wonder
Was I still “not enough”?

When you look at old photographs
Do you scrunch your nose and scoff?
Hiding her in side-drawers from lovers’ eyes.

I found my love lying naked
With my palm against my lung.
No four point oh, or leading role
Just me, alone, feeling at first unwhole

I found my love dancing in the mirror
Unshaven and off tune
With ginger tea
And dinner for just me

In liturgy
With hesitancy
Sitting and waiting in the folds of me.

Without your (artificially sweetened) love
the one way street was over.
I was left facing the mirror
Looking for a home for my giving.

The fact that we are here
Made me wonder, why not love the gift that materializes me here?

So I found her in nothing
Wrapped in cold sheets
Waiting so long for me to love her
To listen
To breathe

Naked, with no conditions at all
Listening to my heartbeat
I declared
I am enough.